Ever have one of those days, where the most unexpected shit happens before you even leave the house? For example, someone pukes, an infant shits on you, you forget to put on a shirt and leave for work?
Two years ago, Shawna thought it would be a great idea to get a new puppy for our anniversary. Lucy was already 3 months old. I think the underlying reason for the dog purchase was the fact that woman, for the most part, are weird. There is a constant need for some type of baby in the house, and a dog seems to be the perfect replacement... Anyway, we named the Dachshund "Taco". Taco the wiener dog.
On a nice spring morning, I got up, had my coffee, smoked on the back porch and jumped into the shower. As the hot water starts to pour over me, I notice a very different sensation almost immediately. Thinking I'm just not "awake" yet, I try to ignore it. It's a burning sensation, and it's getting worse. Soon, I realize I AM awake, and I am in serious pain... My ass feels like it's on fire. Quickly, I yell for Shawna to come look at my ass. "What's it look like? Is there something on it?!", I ask. Immediately she's laughing, to the point of tears. "What is it?!", I ask. "Your ass has no skin!, Taco scratched your ass off!!!", she says.
So there I am... Standing naked in the shower, without ass-skin, while my wife laughs so hard she cries... Turns out that Taco must have been "digging" and trying to make a comfortable spot to lay that night. While he was "getting comfortable", he scratched most of the skin off my right butt-cheek. What a horrible way to start the day.
Welcome to the house of Taco.
