Two years ago, Shawna thought it would be a great idea to get a new puppy for our anniversary. Lucy was already 3 months old. I think the underlying reason for the dog purchase was the fact that woman, for the most part, are weird. There is a constant need for some type of baby in the house, and a dog seems to be the perfect replacement... Anyway, we named the Dachshund "Taco". Taco the wiener dog.
On a nice spring morning, I got up, had my coffee, smoked on the back porch and jumped into the shower. As the hot water starts to pour over me, I notice a very different sensation almost immediately. Thinking I'm just not "awake" yet, I try to ignore it. It's a burning sensation, and it's getting worse. Soon, I realize I AM awake, and I am in serious pain... My ass feels like it's on fire. Quickly, I yell for Shawna to come look at my ass. "What's it look like? Is there something on it?!", I ask. Immediately she's laughing, to the point of tears. "What is it?!", I ask. "Your ass has no skin!, Taco scratched your ass off!!!", she says.
So there I am... Standing naked in the shower, without ass-skin, while my wife laughs so hard she cries... Turns out that Taco must have been "digging" and trying to make a comfortable spot to lay that night. While he was "getting comfortable", he scratched most of the skin off my right butt-cheek. What a horrible way to start the day.
Welcome to the house of Taco.
The funny thing...we STILL to this day wonder how in the hell he slept through that? I mean it wasn't like he was drinking. It was bad! the entire butt cheek was missing skin and you could see all the claw marks. It was still bleeding!
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